Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The you'll do marriage.

I have seen it time and again over the years a successful guy outlives his wife in my old church and marries the first single woman that he knows. I like to call it the "you'll do" marriage of conveience. 

The last shovel full of dirt is barely on the coffin and his long term secretary or nurse is his wife. I totally understand moving on after a loved one passes, but these relationships spring up out of convenience and with little regard to families on both sides.

It it the need for folded clothes or regular sex that causes this phenomenon?  Or is the evangelical churches inability to assimilate singles into their culture?

As I was driving home from work today I saw one of these couples going for a walk and felt sad. I realize the husband has grieved the loss of his wife and probably has moved on. However,  if I think about it from my perspective I feel the loss of his first wife's life being cut short. How many years did the first wife thanklessly raise the kids without a walk in the evening? Sure she was there to raise her kids to adulthood but what a gyp that she didn't get to fully enjoy the empty nest.

My wife and I have given each other the permission to move of if this unfortunate scenario ever materializes for either one of us. This is easier said than done once you factor in preexisting family drama and other variables. 

We must live in the moment and make sure all of our loved ones realize how much we love them. If we get to a point where we have to let somebody new in it can't be totally based on convenience and emotion. I think there has to be a business side to love as unromantic as that is.

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