Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
When I started this blog I thought I would vent about my past in an unhealthy church and have a lot of material. The interesting thing is, the few things I shared allowed me to blow off steam and I am not mad about the past anymore. So I guess venting via the anonymous blogosphere worked and allowed me some free therapy.
So going forward I am not sure what I will share but hopefully it will help me to continue to vent about situations tjat arise and allow me to handle situagions better. I think I am at point in my life where I am being pulled in a new direction and its scary in a way.
More education is the directive here but what to do is the question. Do I get a Master of Theology or do a Master of History or Anthropology? I think the study in any of these fields would help me dig deeper and grow intellectually.
I need to take the first step and move in that direction. I think the Theology degree is what i am leaning toward since I feel called to understand more and possibly even consider a ministerial vocation. I proabably would have done this sooner if my past church experinces didn't suck so bad.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
I was at my parents house for lunch today and one of our good friends was talking about a sports star. He dismissed this persons life up to the point he became a "Christian". Its like this guy just left his past behind post sinners prayer.
In my experience this is just a smokescreen. Saying you're a Christian is just proof you're faking it. There should be no works outside of baptism to prove your allegiance to the Christian faith. In my old circle, you have to give up your individuality to prove your conversion. Buy into the group think and you are one of God's chosen.
Are all of the heresies the church fought back in the day the same as today or is this belief system just ridiculous? Conformity and the status quo bore me and Christianity in America checks every box for me to dismiss this belief system. However the alternatives seem to focus on being self centered and contra to personal growth. I know people who jump through more hoops to buy in to new age spirituality than to accept Orthodox Christianity.
The roads in my mind to accept Christianity are deep and for some reason inspire me to be a better person. This is difficult when 99% of all Christian options in America are full of shit. I get why people reject the faith and move on. I should have based on my history and all I can say is the Holy Spirit won't let me go.
Country music is a genre I have never had a real appreciation for. Just with the basic knowledge I have I realize that the product offered today is a far cry from the traditional stuff by Willie, Waylon and Junior. The new stuff today is kinda of a mix of 80s rock and Garth Brooks. Actually traditional rock is dead and I think most who were fans of that switched over to country.
I will try to stay away from my intellectual high horse and say that this genre is a reflection of the dumbing down of America. Unfortunately, all of the fans of real country are suffering from their genre being highjacked and commercialized to make a buck.
I guess I will use an example from my music tastes. Green Day is a punk band that has got significant air time on rock stations with mediocre lyrics. I can tolerate them while in the car but I never would listen to them by my own choice.
For those of us that want current punk with an edge we listen to Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine. From his Dead Kennedys days he has stayed the course on questioning the establishment and pointing out the hypocrisy of our modern establishment. Electronic Plantation is great song that calls out the bs of our modern day office jobs and hints to the facts that corporations have us in a closed loop to enslave us. It is like the slave owners of the past were too short sighted. You can own the populace by instilling a need in them for products that don't matter. People will work endless hours to have the right car , house, clothes or you name it.
I am guessing there is a way to find real country these days as there is to find real punk rock. However, the masses want a comfortable message that enforces the trap they have bought in to. Most people don't want to think or challenge their comfort zone which must be an awesome place to be. There are those of us that see the game that is being played and want other creative people to make music to inspire us to think deeper.
Whatever the status quo offers will never do that since ideas are what kills authoritarian organizations. There is an illusion of freedom in this country and accepting what is offered by pop culture isn't going to get you to see outside the matrix.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Once our run is over these jerks will go back to the other state schools and leave us alone. I can't wait for that and good riddance.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
My job has been hell since the beginning of the year. My wife joined a new gym and started going 4 times a week a month ago. Now she looks stunning so and is confident in a way I have never seen before. So this week I agreed to go with her on a guest pass. I even moved an obligation so I could go with her last night. I should backtrack and say she has tried to get me to go since she joined but now that work is back to normal I decided to go.
Now that I have met her where she is and see that we need something to keep us together as our kids get older its like we are dating again. We are talking and sharing things with each other we normally wouldn't. We have reached a new level of intimacy in and out of the bedroom that I could only dream of.
I fixed a steak dinner for the kids out of guilt before we left for the gym tonight. Almost a smokescreen as my wife planned for us to eat at the restaurant there after our workout. We had a great time working out and spending time together. Its like our relationship is new again and we have found each other again as we have changed.
I used to work out with a good friend several years ago until he moved away. I just quit going because I hated going by myself. Who knew the solution was in bed next to me every night since then. Oh well better too late than never.