I had just moved up from the 6th grade and was starting to attend youth group on wednesday nights. We always met at the youth pastors house since it was cooler than meeting at the church. This week when I showed up the vibe was different, there was no Michael W Smith or Altar Boys blaring on the stereo system in the living room as usual. Instead it was wierdly quiet. As I walked down the stairs the mood was somber and a girl I will call "Yolanda" was crying sitting in a chair where the youth pastor normally was. After everybody arrived the youth pastor said that Yolanda had some sin to confess that she needed to be held accountable for. She told the story of her relationship with her boyfriend and how it lead to sex and now she was pregnant. Keeping in mind she was sobbing uncontrollably the whole time and was probably embarassed and humiliated. Even as a kid my heart sank and I thought something was terribly wrong here. Little did I know that I had started attending a spiritually abusive youth group that would scar me well into my adulthood.
What made me the angriest as I look back is how clueless her parents were. They failed in raising their child and tried to get the church involved in setting her straight and probably saving their status there. There was no love or concern for her it was almost like she was being used as an example of premartial sex gone wrong. I don't remember what the youth pastor said after her admission of sin. I was so traumatized by her embarrassment and sorrow I blocked it out.
When Christianity is done wrong it is extra destructive. I really understand why people leave the faith and never come back. It is a wonder I still attend church but I would hazard a guess that the kool-aide drinkers at my old church think I am on the road to hell attending a Mainline Lutheran church. Oh well those people are in my rear view mirror for good.
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