A Wake up Call

My son had made a new friend at school. They had talked about getting together to play and his parents were scared to approach us. My sons new friend had 2 dads and they knew which church we went to. They were afraid of us based on our church affiliation and rightly so as I look back. Fortunately,  we shared a friend in common that put us in touch and not only did our son gain a good friend we did as well.

Whenever I go to drop my son off over at their house I usually stay and talk for several hours. These guys actually talk about deep and meaningful things; a rarity around these parts. They were good friends to me during my spiritual struggles over the last couple of years. They understood the loneliness and isolation I was going through because it is similar to struggles they went through figuring out their sexuality I guess.

I am so glad we shared the friend in common to build a bridge to us. This was the first of many enlightening moments that it was time to leave our old church behind. Our children have brought many good friends into our lives in the past and still continue to do so. Now we have a new couple to go out with to dinner as well.

It pays to have an open mind and meet people that are different than you.  It is easy to stay in your comfort zone and cliques. Overall a diverse group of friends from all ages adds perspective and depth to your daily life.

Books from my Skeptical Phase

Here is a list of books/authors from my skeptical phase. I think the new atheists are doing a service in pointing out what is wrong with religion in America. However some have more to do with anthropology and biology. A couple are helpful for those that have gone through spiritual abuse. Some address the silliness that is our government as well.

1.A Letter to a Christian Nation- Sam Harris

2.Breaking the Spell- Daniel Dennett

3.All of the books put together by John Loftus

4. Trusting Doubt-Valarie Tarico

5. Leaving the Fold- Marlene Winnell

6. Godless- Dan Barker

7. Several books by Robert M Price and his bible geek podcast.

8. Religious Literacy-Prothero

9. If there is a God , why are there atheists.- Sproul. I only read the first half since the second half was calvinist theology.

10. The Family and C Street- Jeff Sharlet

11. The Faith Healers- James Randi

12. Jesus Land-Scheeres

13. Why Evolution is true-Coyne

14. Anarchy Evolution-Greg Graffin

15. Religion Explained- Pascal Boyer

16. In Gods we Trust- Atran

17. Salvation for Sale-Straub

18. End of Faith- Harris

19. The Truth About Witchcraft Today-Cunningham.

20. Misquoting Jesus-Bart Ehrman

21. Hegel- Peter Singer

22. Profits over People-Chomsky

Theological Titles I have Read

Here is a quick list of theological titles I have read. Most are either Lutheran, Catholic, Anglican or mainline scholars.  I have no time for evangelical hackery any longer. 23 and on I am still working my way through and I have about 20 more in my queue to read after that. This list doesnt account for any library books I checked out and forgot about reading.

1. The Rise of Evangelicalism-Noll

2. The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind-Noll
3. Is the Reformation over?-Noll
4. And Now I See- Barron
5. Meeting Jesus Again-Borg
6. Why Christianity Must Change or Die-Spong
7.The Victory of Reason-Stark.
8. Where God Meets Man- Forde
9.A Concise History of the Catholic Church-Bokenkotter
10. Translating Theology into the Modern Age-Bultmann
11. How the Catholic Church Built Western civilization-Woods
12. A First Glance at St. Thomas Aquinas-McInerey
13. Rome Sweet Home- Hahn
14. This Hebrew Lord- Spong
15. Beyond Fundamentalism- Barr
16. Honest to God- John AT Robinson
17. Understanding Fundamentalism and Evangelicalism- Marsden
18. Scripture and the Authority of God-NT Wright
19. The Bible Made impossible- Smith
20. How to go from Evangelical to Catholic in 95 steps-Smith
21. Catholicism and Fundamentalism-Keating
22. Knowing Darkness-Hart
23. A History of Christian Thought-Tillich
24. Augustine of Hippo- Brown
25. The Quest for the Historical Jesus-Schweitzer.
26. Dark Night of the Soul-St. John of the Cross
27. The Catholic Controversy - DeSales
28. The Imitation of Christ- Thomas Kempis
29. Christianity the first 3000 years -MacCulloch
30. The Reformation-MacCulloch
31. Justification-Braaten

Is Consumerist America a new version of slavery?

I often wonder if the model for America isn't a sneakier version of slavery. We are constantly bombarded with advertising that compels us to buy stuff we dont need. Then the programming on tv dulls the intellect of the population and reinforces advertising campaigns.

When wages stay flat over the past 20 years, benefits are shinking and the price of everthing is going up. There is something that makes you think the large corporations that have taken over have just established a modern day plantation system. The government representatives are bought out by corporate interests on both sides of the aisle.

Just to thin the herd we will make the average diet people can afford toxic and create a need for more healthcare. The system rewards blind obediance and stupidity. The more you are loyal to the civic religion of sports the better you fit in too and it takes more than 10 percent of the income of the most devout.

Any introspection where you hold yourself accountable for your wrong behavior is discounted as well. When we justify all of our wrong doing we reason away any spirituality that puts us at the bottom of the food chain. Once we convince ourselves that we can do nothing wrong we go on autopilot with regards to our desires. Then people say the only realm we expeience is the one we know directly.  They usually say I dont know without factoring in our limited senses on earth let alone the universe. We cant hear everything other animal can or even see the entire color spectrum. What if there is life all around us in the universe but we cant see it in this human meat suit.

I will stop now since it is late and I have run off the rails into crazy talk.

Theological Mutt

In the past year I have interacted with eastern Orthodox, LCMS, ELCA, Catholic and some of my old connections in the non denominational world. I seem to find things I like in every tradition but I am unable to  polarize and buy in 100 % into any of them . I love my new church and even though it is in the ELCA it is not representative of that denomination.  The scary thing is if it ever became more like the denomination I would be hard pressed to stay. Luckily I dont see anything changing soon so no worry is needed at this point. I have had only one person be happy that I was at an ELCA church and it was an Episcopal priest.

When I was struggling so hard spiritually my current church allowed me to walk in and join with open arms. Many of the other traditions mentioned above require months of catachesis and I didnt want to prove myself worthy again. It seems like every different denomination has identified good doctrine and practice and hangs their hat on it. But unfortunately through bloodshed and sectarianism hundreds of years ago most of the rank and file can see beyond and respect what is good in fellow Christian traditions.

What is one to do that cant become tribal and buy into a denomination 100%. I tend to think where I am at is perfect for me since I love high church liturgy,  think baptism is the entrance rite into the faith and believe that if Christ isnt present in the sacrament of holy communion then why bother.

I love the studies and reading I have done in the contemplative life in the western Catholic church. Someone who can live in solitude and look introspective at themselves and deny basic essentials is interesting to me. I also like the reverence that is paid to saints in the church and they are like fellow members we can ask to pray for us. It definitely competes well against the black and white doctrine of the reformed tradition I grew up in.

I have learned a great deal from the LCMS church. The law and gospel distinction has been infinitely helpful in me understanding where my old teadition was out of whack. They also pay tribute to church history in a way that makes this protestant group less so.

The Eastern Orthodox tradition is one I have read the least on but I feel is similar in some ways to the Catholic church. They have a different church calendar but revere saints in their tradition as well. The biggest turn off for me was once I learned their services were 2.5 hours long. If I could find a western rite church that had an hour service then maybe. In my locale when the Episcopal church went batshit most of the local clergy converted to this tradition.

My old church I never engaged in and after I left they realized that I would be an asset to them. They all know the bible cover to cover very well and the clergy there are all nice guys. I just dont line up enough with the laity or the statement of belief to be helpful there.

The Catholic church is a tradition I have always admired. However,  since I am a bit of a rebel I cant see how jumping over the high bar to get in is worth it. I would have to be a better Catholic than everybody there even though I already know more about it than most of them.

So if you are a part of a tradition that works for you be glad. I have found one for now at my current church but could it change? Sure it could? I guess I am in the right place if no other jumps out as the right fit. Maybe when doors close when you entertain other options it is a sign you have found your home.

I might like Greg Boyd more if I were still evangelical

When I left my old church one of the prominent long term members gave me a couple of Greg Boyd's books as a parting gift. He mentioned to me that most of the pastoral staff disliked him and that should have been a clue that I might have enjoyed reading his stuff. The books are still collecting dust and I have yet to read them. Fast forward to today and I read on Rachel Held Evans blog that he is considering moving his church to the Mennonite denomination.

I give him kudos for researching the roots of evangelicalism back and identifying what is wrong with it today. He was also able to find an often looked over post reformation branch of Christianity and find good in it. If evangelicalism has any roots prior to the tent revival era it would be in the anabaptist tradition.

In my studies, I found I have a lot in common with the anabaptists. I am not a fan of partisan politics, I think what is on tv anymore is garbage, I dont want any glory for anything I do and I think war is a waste of money and human life. I also disagree with them on enough issues not to join that tradition but I was pleasantly surprised by them.

I downloaded the channel on Roku for Greg's church and watched the sermon where he introduces the idea to his congregation. I kinda liked his sermon style as it is more like an academic history lesson even though the goggles he has on are evangelical. None of the guys I encounter want to acknowledge the Catholic church and he made it sound like the anabaptists were around from day one after Christ's ascension to heaven.

Even though from a historical persective I thought his fact checking was shoddy at best sometimes and he does correct some mistakes after the sermon. I would have loved this guy when I still was an evangelical. He has really tried to give legitimacy to the movement and connect it to the past.

I just wonder how the Mennonites will accept this guy who is trying to carve out a new niche and be a spokesperson for a group that a concept like that is foreign to.

Post Trip Back Observations

So my wife and I went back to the old church for my family friends funeral. They did a real nice job and his wife picked a hymn to sing where we actually had to use the hymnals for once. One thing I don't like at evangelical funerals that sometimes they turn into a praise service. At least that didnt happen here and they actually remebered the person who passed away.

Really the only thing I noticed was the pastor focused on all of the difficult resurrection passages and presented them like he knew absolutely what was going to happen when Christ comes back. Of course lots of premillinial dispenationalist rhetoric was injected into said speech. These guys also get there entire theological gameplan from Paul's writings taken literally in modern perspective.

Afterward we went out to the courtyard to offer the family our condolences and interacted with lots of people. We talked to several of the pastors at length and several of my parents friends who were there. It was sad in a way to see all of these people and realize we had left them all behind. I guess part of the pain of putting off dealing with a church situation that isnt right for your family is that you make friendships in the meantime.

I didnt want to go back at first but I am glad we did. It was nice too see people we havent seen in over a year and I think it let them know that we have no hard feelings.